Colors Page 3

  “He’s happier now, I just…I just know it!” She heaved at her last words and took several deep breaths.

  I didn’t want to make this any worse, but I needed to know. “Remember when…” I paused, letting my gaze fall to the ground. “Remember when dad left? What did it feel like?”

  She was silent for a long time, and just as I regretted asking, she spoke. “Like a part of me was gone…And now that he’s…you know…I know that that part is gone forever.” She choked on her tears, wiping her eyes. “I find it hard remembering my song most days…it’s like it died with him.”

  “That must be awful…” I looked down, considering her words. “Do you think one day you won’t be able to remember it at all?”

  “I don’t know.” She wiped her tears stubbornly. “I suppose it’s how we move on…it would only hurt to sing it again.” I didn’t agree with her if I could hold on to my song I would. It would be my lifeline, my support beam. I didn’t want to forget the one thing that we had once shared, then I would forget them altogether.

  “I wish I could know when people are going, mom.” I looked back down, unable to imagine forgetting my song completely. “That way no one could ever hurt me.”

  “I know, sweetie.” She hugged me tightly, “but that wouldn’t work, you can’t know when a person is going to die.”

  I squeezed her back, but I wasn’t listening to her words anymore. It would work, and I was never going to give myself another reason to hurt again. No more tears, no more pain. It would all fade away with him.

  The next day at school, I ate alone. My friends were all looking for me, but I didn’t want them to find me. I didn’t want to know who would be gone today.

  After I finished my lunch, I walked around outside waiting for the bell to ring. The front of the school was quiet and that was exactly what I needed. As I sat under a big tree, I looked down at my feet setting my bag beside me.

  I wished that I could be normal, that in some reality, I wasn’t cursed to watch people die. People were all the same, and the world would never have a single cloud that didn’t turn blue eventually. Yellow clouds never lasted, and they never would. Even my soulmate seemed impossible now, like a dream too good to be true.

  I was afraid that one morning I would wake up unable to remember my song, and unable to feel a part of my soul. I had been naive to imagine a perfect man when I was little, at least back then I hadn’t known what it felt like to lose them and be helpless to stop it. What if my cloud was dark blue? What if my soulmate could see it, and decided I wasn’t worth it? The scenarios flew through my head, each one making me more terrified than the last.

  What if my soulmate was off at war, and I never got to meet him? What if he was a Fugitive? It was forbidden to marry someone in the lower ranks of our society, and you were always put with someone who was a Standard or higher. Only an Opulent could marry a down rank, which rarely happened. I had never seen the brand, but I had been raised to fear it with everything in me. If someone had it, they were dangerous and had killed at least a Standard. I let my thoughts wander for what seemed like hours until the bell rang.

  Chapter Seven

  The days flew by in what seemed like seconds; I had blocked out every one of my old friends, and only ever spoke to my mother. She was the only person I would ever get close to again. It seemed that as the years faded, so did the people around me. I had become numb to losing them, it was a feeling I had felt far too many times in my life.

  Graduation came and went, and I was going into my first year in college. The thought of something new made me feel ecstatic. It felt like a fresh start from my old life, one where I could ignore the colors. I watched as my peers disappeared right in front of my eyes, but I couldn’t be sad, not anymore.

  I walked into my apartment and threw my bag by the stairs. Finals week was finally over!

  I hadn’t spoken to my mother in quite a while and decided to give her a call. I stared at the phone blankly as it rang, and rang...and rang.

  “Hello?” My mother’s voice came loudly through the speaker, making me jump.

  “Hey, mom,” I paused, checking to make sure that her tone was calm. “How are you doing?”

  “Good, good. How are you liking your classes?” Her voice was cheerful, calming all of my nerves.

  “They’re okay,” I laughed a little. “My professors are all a little crazy.”

  “That’s astronomy for you.” She chuckled. “We’re all a little crazy.”

  “I didn’t know that you majored in astronomy.” I blinked, smiling.

  “Not my major, but it was my minor. I sat right next to your...father.” She paused awkwardly at her words. “Anyway, never mind me. Happy end of first year!”

  “I know right, I can’t believe it.” I sighed. “I’m nineteen, isn’t that crazy?”

  “Oh, don’t remind me.” She let out an audible sigh. “What are you going to do for your twentieth?”

  “That’s not for a whole year, mom.” I laughed. “Besides, I don’t want to give you a heart attack by talking about it.”

  “Thank you,” she chuckled. “Well, you better get some sleep. I will be doing the same.”

  “I get to sleep in!” I smiled. “Finally.”

  “Goodnight, Tethys. Enjoy sleeping in.” I could almost see my mother rolling her eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, mom.” I pressed the hang-up button, all of my nerves melting away. Talking to her always seemed to calm me down. Even though finals were over, I was still feeling all of the stress of it. If I didn’t do well, I might have to do a whole other year!

  After changing into my pajamas, I read the book my mother had gotten me for my nineteenth birthday. The book wasn’t very big, and I intended to get through at least a few chapters.

  I hadn’t realized how long I had been reading for, and it was nearly three in the morning. I sighed, putting it down reluctantly and getting into my bed.

  As I switched off the light and got comfortable, I heard a crash from somewhere. My heart skipped a beat, but I convinced myself that it was probably just my neighbor’s cat again.

  As I finally began believing myself, I heard footsteps coming towards my room’s door. Frozen in fear, I watched as my room door’s handle began turning and I desperately reached for my phone. The door opened fully, and in walked a tall man dressed in all black. The room was dark, and I couldn’t make out any of his features, except for his bright green eyes. He was looking right at me, and I knew he had seen me. I switched on the light, deciding that if I was going to die, I wanted to do it in the light.

  I pushed myself backward as I took in his features. Everything about him was intimidating, a deep crimson scar tore through his right cheek starkly contrasting with the milky white of his skin. The youth in his face told me that he couldn’t have been much older than me, maybe twenty, twenty-one. The startling green of his eyes was even more striking against the dim lighting of my room. His hair was blacker than smoke and curled every which way. In his left hand was a jet-black gun, but that wasn’t what caused the sick feeling low in my stomach. Above his head, casting an aura of darkness across his face was a cloud in the deepest shade of black I had ever seen.

  I looked back into his eyes, with tears filling mine. A feeble, “Please,” was all I could muster as the fear consumed me. But my terror soon turned to confusion as I noticed his shaking hands. He looked more scared than I was, like he didn’t want to do any of this.

  He didn’t say a word as he aimed the gun right at my heart. With trembling hands, he set his finger on the trigger. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could tell my mother that I loved her just once more. So many people I had shut out, so many clouds that had turned blue. Was this all the world was meant for? To just die away eventually? I couldn’t help the tears that began streaming down my cheeks; the tears that I had sworn to never show again. This was it. This was where my story ended, nothing but another cloud gone dark.

  But instead
of hearing a gunshot, a sweet melody escaped from his lips. A song so familiar, that I almost didn’t process that he was singing it. His voice was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard in my life, and by instinct alone, I began singing along. His eyes widened, and he continued hesitantly singing with me. The way his voice harmonized with mine, sounded like we had been made to sing together. His voice was warm and low, a pure sound perfectly matching my own. When we sang the final lyrics, we both fell silent. He slowly lowered the gun, looking at me as if he was trying to memorize my features. As if he didn’t fully believe that I was real.

  “How…how do you know that song?” His voice was warm and smoother than butter. One that I didn’t expect someone who was just trying to kill me to have. He had a strange accent—Australian if I had to guess—which made it all the more relaxing.

  “What do you mean?” I whispered, terrified to speak with the gun still tightly clutched in his hand.

  “How do you know that song?” His voice shook with desperation, and…anger?

  “It’s…It’s my soul song.” I explained cautiously, the anger in his tone had taken me by surprise and made me stumble backward. “It’s...our soul song.”

  “Soul…song?” He looked genuinely confused; how did he not know if he had one?

  “It’s the song sung to you at birth.” I backed up against my bed’s headboard as far as I could. “One only you and your soulmate know….” He looked at me with wonder and confusion in his stunning eyes.

  “Tell me more,” he was inching closer to me, making me feel very uncomfortable. As he crept nearer, I noticed two silver earrings running through his right ear. “About…the songs.” I didn’t know what to say; he had a song so surely he had to know what it meant.

  “It’s the only song I can seem to remember…and I think you forget it once your soulmate is gone for good.” I tried to push further against the headboard, but my back was already pressed firmly against it; I couldn’t move. “W-who are you?”

  His expression turned guarded, and his gaze fell to the sheets on my bed. “Unimportant…you?”

  I blinked at his answer; he was the strangest person I had ever met. “I-I’m…Tethys.”

  He looked back up at me, his clear fascination returning. “Tethys.” A smile crept across his face, filling his eyes with admiration. I was confused and a little unnerved by him being so close.

  “Do I get to know your name now?” I felt trapped; I couldn’t move back any further, and he was still clutching the jet-black gun tightly in his hand. The way he said my name with awe, his strange answers. He reminded me of a certain boy that I didn’t want to think about right now.

  His eyelids fluttered shut, letting out a deep sigh. I didn’t speak, worried about angering him again. I also didn’t miss the fact that he was fiddling with his gun’s trigger. “Can you see them too?” His question was strange, leaving a lot of gray areas.

  “See what?” I was starting to believe that he was crazy and wished I could call my mom or better yet, the Sentinels.

  “The smoke.” When he opened his eyes again, they were filled with wonder. “Yours is a bright, brilliant hue of yellow. It’s shedding light on everything around it. Radiant and more beautiful than the sun.”

  “Wait you…you can see them too?” I blinked. Memories of people calling me crazy for seeing things that weren’t real, all came back. I wasn’t the only one after all. “The colors?” I was getting excited but kept myself composed, he was still holding a gun.

  “What color is mine?” He asked eagerly, scooting farther onto the bed.

  I looked into his hopeful eyes, wishing I could lie, especially after the way he had described my own. I didn’t want to risk angering him, so I told the truth. “Black.”

  His face fell, and he looked down at the sheets once more. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” I blinked in confusion, instinctively trying to back up once more but soon remembering that I was as far as I could go.

  He hadn’t missed the fear in my eyes and how I had pushed away from him. “Ruining your soul song. It sounds like a wonderful thing that you deserve to have.” He stood up and began walking towards my door.

  His words took me by surprise, “W-wait, don’t go.” I didn’t trust him, and I most definitely didn’t love him, but I wasn’t just going to let him leave. He was my soulmate whether I liked it or not, and I was not letting him just walk out on me like that. Besides, if he had a song, he had to be a Standard, meaning he hadn’t killed anyone yet.

  He turned back to face me, looking angry for no apparent reason at all. He watched as I cowered away from his stare with a bitter expression. “Please just let me go,” he paused as if choosing his words carefully. “I don’t find pleasure in watching people cower away in fear from me.”

  I blinked and with a shaky breath stood up as well. I had to hold back the ‘then why did you just try to shoot me?’, but it wasn’t easy. “I…” my gaze fell to the floor. “I have no one left…please don’t leave.” My thoughts went to my mother, she was the only person who hadn’t left me. A small part of my heart whispered the yet, but I quickly pushed it away.

  His eyes widened, “You…you don’t want someone like me…I’ll destroy your entire world. I…I’m a monster.” He buried his face in his hands in frustration. “I shatter everything I touch.”

  I timidly walked towards him, my heart racing faster and faster. His cold aura seemed to cast shadows on everything around him, filling my room with a color darker than ink. I was shaking so badly that I could barely move, but I made myself take another step towards him. With trembling hands, I willed myself to take his hand in mine. He looked up with an emotion deeper than shock written on his face. Terrified was an understatement to how I was feeling, but I gave it a reassuring squeeze. His hands were freezing, colder than anything I had ever touched, but I held on tight.

  “You’re not shattering me.” I smiled, hoping the terror wouldn’t show in my eyes. “See?”

  His hands were quivering in my grip, and his expression was unreadable. He didn’t speak, but he also didn’t let go. Up close I noticed a small scar down the middle of his bottom lip. I gently moved my hand and cupped his face with it. He was looking at me with fear, and I didn’t miss the way he flinched when I raised my hand.

  “What have you gone through? What happened to you to bring you to this?” I gestured to the gun in his other hand, making sure that the tone of my voice was balanced and none of the terror I felt showed. I needed to understand so I could help him, he clearly had been put through something dark enough to lead him to this.

  He didn’t answer, his startling eyes searching mine. He leaned into my touch, finally seeming to calm down a little. What could they have done to lead him to this?

  “Can you…can you tell me more about these soul songs?” His eyes were filled with that same childish wonder that they had held before. It was the first thing he had said in a while, and I had forgotten how pleasant his voice was.

  “To be honest, I don’t know much about them.” I genuinely wished that I could tell him more, he seemed so intrigued by them. “What’s…what’s your rank?” The question was insensitive, but I had to know. It was better for both people to just go on their separate ways then be dragged down to the level of an Outsider. Even though he had a gun, it didn’t mean that he had killed someone yet. He could still be a Standard as long as he hadn’t done anything, that or he was an Opulent who could kill someone as average as me in a heartbeat. I had only ever seen an Opulent on the broadcasts before, but judging by the way he was dressed, he wasn’t one.

  “Standard.” The answer came so easily to him that I couldn’t help feeling relief. I knew that the Chanteuses would never match a Standard with an Outsider, but I had to check. He hadn’t gone as far as to kill anyone yet. The way he had acted about telling me his name had scared me into thinking that the Chanteuses had messed up somehow. I felt worlds more comfortable now, but I didn’t miss the fact tha
t he still had his gun out.

  “So, what now?” I asked, excitement and relief coursing through me all at the same time. I had finally found my soulmate.

  “Well, it’s four in the morning,” he looked over my shoulder at the clock. “I’ll see you around, I guess.” He turned to leave, seeming extremely eager to get out.

  “Where?” I asked beside myself with happiness. I had just met my soulmate! Though I didn’t want to disregard the shadowy cloud above his head completely. Years and years, I had spent carefully handpicking who I spoke to, making sure I never was hurt again, and here I was about to visit a man with the darkest cloud I had ever seen.

  “Eastway Avenue, the cafe.” He tucked his gun into his pocket. Finally. “Three in the afternoon.”

  I looked up at the black smoke above his head. “Promise you’ll be there, okay?” I was risking way more than he knew with this.

  “Okay…” he looked confused but didn’t ask. When he left, I couldn’t help but have flashbacks of my brother. I hoped that he would be there.

  Chapter Eight

  I woke up and almost didn’t remember the events of the night before. It all seemed like a crazy dream, but the lingering chill in my hands was how I knew it was real.

  I was feeling overwhelmed with relief and had so many questions. He hadn’t killed anyone yet, but he had been driven to. I’d have to ask him about it, but a small part of me didn’t want to know. I wanted to call and tell my mom everything, but something was stopping me. I didn’t know how she would react.

  I passed the time, by finishing off some of my homework. There was no way I could get it all done, but at least it was progress.

  After what seemed like forever, it was finally three. A very small part in the back of my head was terrified; what if he was gone just like everyone else? I had begged him to stay, what was stopping him from leaving now?