Colors Read online

  Copyright © 2020 by Olivia Arndt

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Printed in the United States of America

  .

  Dedicated to mom,

  Thanks for always believing in me!

  * hugs*

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter One

  As the years flew by, the colors darkened. That was my first memory. I had only been six.

  My parents started with bright, fluorescent clouds above their heads, casting beams of sunlight across everything around them. Those clouds had been my lifeline for many years, no matter what happened, what went wrong, they would always make even the darkest days brighter. Then everything changed. Their clouds began to turn into dark, colorless shades of blue, and their moods were no different. They began to fight and no longer sang the song they had once shared. My brother had become the only other light in my life, a small reminder of how it used to be.

  One evening, when we were all eating dinner, it suddenly got really quiet. My parents had stopped talking, and my brother was barely eating. I decided to break the silence.

  “So,” I looked from my parents to Hyperion. “How was everyone’s day today?” I piped up. My eyes went to the blue haze above their heads; only my brother’s cloud was still yellow.

  “Great, sweetie,” my dad mumbled through gritted teeth.

  “Fine.” My mom sighed, setting her plate down. They shared a look that I didn’t quite understand.

  “Pretty good.” My brother smiled at me in between bites of his chicken. “How was yours?”

  “Amazing!” I finished my food and jumped out of my chair. “Can I be excused?”

  “May,” my brother mumbled under his breath. “May I.”

  “Sure, sweetie.” My dad stood up and thrust his plate at my mom. She glared at him but remained silent.

  I thought nothing of it and skipped upstairs. As soon as I shut my door behind me, screaming sounded from downstairs. I didn’t know what was going on, and I was about to check when Hyperion came rushing into my room.

  “What’s going on?” I tried to catch a glimpse of what was happening behind him, but he quickly shut the door again.

  “Nothing, Tess.” He gently led me over to my bed and pulled out my toy elephant, Sprinkles. “Here, let’s play with Sprinkles.”

  “But...well, okay!” I smiled as he pulled out Mr. Bananas, the stuffed monkey. We sat there and played stuffed animals for hours, ignoring everything around us. Eventually, the yelling stopped, and in a matter of seconds, my mother was upstairs muttering comforting words to us.

  “What happened?” My brother squeaked, trembling. “Where is dad?”

  My mother ignored his question and continued cradling me in her arms. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “Okay,” I smiled up at her, but it soon faded as I took in the deep blue hue of her cloud. It was darker than it had ever been before. “Mama?”

  “Yes, Tess?” She kissed my forehead and stroked my hair away from my face.

  “Never mind…” I looked at her dark cloud sadly. “Can you…Can you sing me your song?”

  She hesitated for a second, a strange look crossing her face. “Okay.” She took a deep breath and began softly singing a sweet melody. One only my father and her knew.

  When a child is born, they have a single melody they know called a soul song; no one else knows the song except for one other person. That person is your soulmate. It’s said that when your soulmate dies or when you two break apart, you can never love again. You also cannot marry again, even if you wanted to. Once it was over, that was it, no more love, no more light.

  I always sang my song before I went to bed, but I had only heard my mother’s once before. Her song was beautiful, but no matter how hard I tried to hold onto the lyrics, they kept slipping out of my grasp. I could only hold onto the song that I had been given; it was the only melody that made sense to me.

  My brother stared at her with a look of melancholy. I knew it was because he understood that dad wasn’t coming back now. I had asked Hyperion to sing me his song a million times, except he never would. He made silly excuses that he didn’t like his singing voice and that he was waiting for his soulmate to sing it with him.

  That night I spent sitting on the edge of my bed, looking up at the stars. One star in particular shone brighter than all of the rest. The North Star. My mom always said that it brought people home. It didn’t matter where you were, you could always see it.

  I took in its beauty while quietly singing my song. It seemed impossible that someone else out there was singing the same melody, waiting for me. I wondered where he was and what his life was like. Had I already met him? Could he see the colors too? My parents had believed I was crazy when I was younger because of it, but I knew what I saw. I watched my parents’ clouds darken as they drifted apart. I have watched my brother’s cloud bring light to everything around him. I wondered what color my soulmate’s cloud would be, a light yellow? Dark blue? Something in between? I didn’t know, but I bet he would be perfect. A guardian sent to watch over me and love me. A boy who could see the beauty in anyone and love them for their flaws. I knew that the person singing my song would lead a life more perfect than any angel could ever dream of.

  Chapter Two

  Ten Years Later

  I grabbed my bag and crammed the remainder of my homework back into it. I cheerfully walked down into the kitchen to see my mother cooking breakfast and my brother seated at the table. Frowning a little, I noticed the deep orange hue above his head. His cloud had been getting darker and darker by the day, and I didn’t understand why.

  “Good morning, Tethys.” My mother smiled, handing me a plate full of food. I gratefully took it and sat next to my brother.

  “How do you think you did on that marine biology test you were talking about?” I asked, taking a bite out of my toast.

  He merely shrugged and continued putting the finishing details on his essay. “How do you think you did on that math test?”

  “Oh, I just know I failed that,” I sighed. “I didn’t know anything in that whole chapter, and I swear I studied!”

  He scoffed and took another bite of his cereal. “If watching TV is your version of studying, then oh yeah. That’s practically the only thing you did over break.”

  “Hey, I studied!” I hit his arm. “I even made flashcards.”

  “I’m sure you did,” he rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair. “
Well, you better hurry up and eat, because we have to go.” He twirled his car keys on his finger to prove his point.

  “I’m almost done!” I smacked his arm again and shoveled the last bit of toast into my mouth. “Give me a second.”

  “Well I am not going to be late, so hurry up.” He smiled, grabbing his backpack. “I am going to have to drop you off at light speed if I don’t want to be late for class.”

  “Whatever.” I pushed past him slinging my bag over my shoulder and walked out the front door.

  Chapter Three

  After my brother drove off, I set off to my first class of the day: Chemistry. Mr. Aztec’s lecture was boring as per usual, and I could not wait for lunch. As I sat there watching Aztec doze off on his desk, my thoughts wandered to the ever-growing mystery of soulmates. There were so many theories regarding the topic, but no one knew which ones were true. Many people believed that you can’t ever leave your soulmate no matter what, but I knew the truth behind that one, after all my own father had left my mother. The others that understand that it is possible, don’t leave for fear of being widowed or unable to financially support themselves. People in our society who don’t have a song are regarded as outcasts; it’s rare, but it has happened. I was thankful that no one in my family had been cursed that way.

  Tales had been passed around of these traitors living among us in secret. They weren’t proven to be dangerous, but the thought still scared me. The concept of people who have songs but feel no want for one is another big topic in our society. Some people say that it’s selfish to do that to your soulmate, others say that they should have the choice. I didn’t know how I felt about it; I’ve never understood how anyone wouldn’t want a soulmate. Why would anyone ever choose to be lonely? And through all of that, there was the most terrifying thought out of it all. Some people spoke of dying before ever even meeting their soulmate, or just simply never finding them. Some people said that you would know if your partner died, and that it felt like a piece of your soul was missing. I didn’t understand how any of that worked, but every day I couldn’t help but worry that something like that would happen to me or my brother.

  I’d heard horrible stories where the person’s soulmate was a terrible person, but they couldn’t leave because they had become completely dependent on them for money. I couldn’t imagine meeting the person you have been searching for your whole life, to find out that they only want to use you. That almost seemed worse than them simply leaving.

  There were other rumors of people having more than one soulmate, but those were shut down almost instantly by the government. You had a song, and only one other person knew it. That was just how things were, and there was no changing that. Yet I had heard of people feeling love towards more than one person. Both claiming to know their song, and both following through. That was a rumor I was with the government on; it just seemed silly that two people could know your song. The Chanteuses would never allow something like that to happen.

  Another one that always seemed to come up was meeting your soulmate only to find that they were not single, maybe even married. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that one either. Wasn’t everyone searching for someone who shared their song? How could they already be taken if the person didn’t share their same tune? The Officials had insisted that none of these rumors were true, but I wasn’t so sure for all of them. I at least knew they weren’t right on the leaving one.

  There had been many protests and riots on the freedom of choice. I supposed it would be nice, but I also figured that if you only had one special person, why bother? If only one person can complete you, why on earth would you want to get hurt at the hands of someone else? As I looked around the classroom, I wondered how many people here were each other’s soulmates, and how many were what we liked to call ‘Insiders.’

  The government had been hunting down the people without songs for years and after they were caught, no one knew where they went, or what happened to them. An Insider never came back after being caught. Some people said that they were sent off to war without choice. Others think that they were killed in the worst ways possible. I had my own theories on the topic, none of them good. Some people said that they were made slaves of Lieu and treated worse than the Outsiders. The most peaceful theory there was said that they were simply made homeless and thrown onto the streets to beg for food. Even though it wasn’t exactly peaceful at all, it was a walk in the park compared to the others. I didn’t blame Insiders for living in secret; wherever they were going, it was not pleasant.

  I remember one day in elementary school, I had been playing ball at recess with my friend Drew when big trucks pulled up, all blasting sirens. I was confused at how terrified he had looked, but now it all made sense.

  Men in uniforms came and grabbed him with rough hands. He had tried to run, but there were too many. They had dragged him away. I would never forget how his mother had come out sobbing and screaming.

  Now I realized why it had happened, he was an Insider, but it still seemed horrible. He had only been eleven, I couldn’t imagine how scared he must’ve been. He didn’t even get to say goodbye to his family.

  Once he had been extracted from the scene, everyone had been acting like I was infected. They were all asking if I had touched him or if he had spoken to me. I know that Insiders are not diseased now, but at the time I had begun to believe that he was sick and that was why they had taken him away so quickly. For years I expected to see him again. I even visited the hospital asking if he was in any of the rooms, but they said no one with his name had ever checked in.

  My mother had been acting the same, asking if he had said anything to me or if I had touched the ball with too much exposed skin. I guess they believed that Insiders were contagious and might infect them with their low status.

  Insiders didn’t have a place in the ranks of Lieu. They were dangerous and outcasts never to be messed with. My society is all about status. If you were a standard citizen, you would lead a perfectly fine and normal life. If you were an Opulent, you would live a life worthy of a king, never consulting with any Standards except for a few rare exceptions, and if you were an Outsider you would live a life with poor conditions and little to no food. People believed that the Outsiders didn’t have songs like the Insiders because they are too dangerous to be around. Most Outsiders died before they reached adulthood, some managed to scrape by long enough that they lived a little bit longer. Others stole and killed to live. Some say that if you’re married to someone and they become an Outsider, you were stripped of your status as well. There are many ways to become an Outsider. Stealing was a big one, simply being born into an Outsider family, or breaking any of Lieu’s rules were all strong possibilities. But once you killed or committed harm to someone in your rank or a rank above you, you were regarded as a Fugitive.

  All Fugitives were caught and killed, after given years and years of jail time. Once their time was over, they are branded as a traitor and thrown off into the war to die. If you associate yourself with someone branded as a Fugitive, you were both as good as dead. Most Fugitives were too weak to even defend themselves after the brand, so they either die as quickly as possible or finish the job themselves. The thought sent chills down my spine and turned my stomach over.

  I hadn’t realized how long I had been spaced out, and that the bell had been ringing for quite a while.

  I walked to lunch and quickly picked out my friends waiting at the table for me. I checked to make sure that all of their clouds were bright yellow, which eased my nerves.

  “What took you so long?” my friend, Raven asked. She was always worrying about me, but I never worried about her, seeing how her cloud never went darker than orange. “Did Aztec hold you after class?”

  “No, I just dozed off a little,” I lied.

  “Ah Tethys, you need to pay attention in class.” Moon smiled at me and took a bite of her sandwich. She is blind in one eye and more positive about everything than I could ever be.

 
“Why bother? All Aztec does is sleep anyway,” Violet grumbled. She was the sassiest and most grumpy out of all of us. But she was most definitely not sad in any way either. I always made sure to surround myself with people that had no chance of leaving me. There had been far too many accidents. That boy from elementary school had had a purple cloud, which at the time I thought nothing of. But now it made sense. He was always scared and jumpy, and I guess I always had associated purple as the color of fear. I wished I hadn’t befriended him, but there was nothing I could do now.

  “Wow, you’re really out of it today. Are you okay?” Raven’s gentle voice snapped me out of my thoughts once more.

  “What? Oh yeah, I’m just really tired.” I felt horrible lying to her, but I also didn’t want to make her think I didn’t trust her. I closed my lunchbox and leaned on my hand.

  “Did you hear that the Sentinels are going door to door, demanding that people sing their songs?” Raven looked to make sure that no one was looking at us. “My dad thinks that they’re looking for...” She paused again, lowering her voice. “Insiders.”

  That caught my attention, “You mean like…the ones without songs?” She nodded, looking a bit scared. I didn’t need any further proof, if Lieu thought that going to such extreme lengths was necessary then they were obviously more dangerous than anyone had ever imagined.

  “The thought of them living among us in secret terrifies me,” Raven whispered, closing her lunchbox. “I hear that they’re trying to overthrow Mr. Lieu, and end the rank system.”

  “I hear that all of the riots are being stirred up by them,” Moon added. “My sister thinks that they’re encouraging the Outsiders.”

  “The government has everything under control, and as soon as they rid us of those filthy rats, we’ll have nothing to worry about.” Violet smiled, looking surprisingly happy. I supposed she just liked to gossip. She was a higher-ranked Standard, meaning her father helped the Sentinels sometimes. “I bet that they’re giving the Outsiders information on how to fit in.”